Let Him Go
by anaBTRusher
Summary: She can see that he is unhappy in their relationship. After the release of Lucy's album, things have changed between them. Maybe the best solution would be to let him go. Jo-centered one shot.


**I wrote this to show a different side of Jo. I'm just tired of people calling her a selfish, immature brat who ruined Kucy and couldn't let Kendall move on. I personally don't like how overdramatic and jealous she can get, and prefer Lucy over her, but the fight between Kucy and Jendall fans irritates me beyond belief. I personally prefer Kucy, but it won't bother me if he stays with Jo.**

**Now, on with the story!**

_**Let Him Go**_

I stare at the clock on my apartment wall. 12.30 AM. Another tiring day has reached its end. I sigh and fall on my bed with a loud thud.

"Things are definitely not getting any worse" I whisper to myself, staring blankly at the ceiling above me. Tears pool in my eyes when I remember this day's events.

Just moments ago, my boyfriend, Kendall Knight, and I had perhaps the biggest argument in history. We were both extremely hurt afterwards, and decided to give ourselves some space.

I'm pretty sure Kendall didn't really think of it. He's grown indifferent to whatever is happening now.

Well, I don't blame him. Ever since I came back from New Zealand, about two months ago, we've been doing nothing but fight.

First, it was because he had called me with a different name.

Then, we nearly broke up while he tried to separate his best friend Carlos from his girlfriend.

And the list goes on…

I just don't think he should be with me anymore.

He deserves better than that.

He has to find a sweet girl, underneath which lies a tough one. He has to find a girl who loves-or at least enjoys-his hobbies. He has to find a girl who actually has common likes and interests with him and can fully understand his problems and ambitions.

And I have none of these qualities.

I'm not a bad girl. I hate hockey, his main love. I have nothing in common with him and when his actions are against my wishes, we end up fighting.

But _she _was different.

She was everything he wanted. From what I'd heard they had a fairly good chemistry and rarely fought. He was the one to prevent her from getting hurt by a random jerk, and tried really hard to be with her.

Her name was Lucy Stone. And she was a far better match for him.

How had I never realized that before?

Why did I have to be such a selfish brat and want him to be with me when he could be with her?

Right now, Kendall is the center of attention in Hollywood. Lucy, being a rocker, released an album about being dumped by him, where he is portrayed as a total jerk. Kendall and the band he's in, Big Time Rush, is going through a big time scandal.

All because of me.

I should have shown some understanding. I should have told Kendall that I'd be okay if he were with Lucy, even though I craved to be with him.

If I had gone out of my little bubble, none of this would have happened.

If I had actually used my brain, Kendall would now be happy with the girl he loved, Lucy.

But now, he's just unhappy. And I hate that.

I had thought that maybe, if we got back together after a year of being apart, our relationship would become stronger, since we were both heartbroken at how fiercely it ended. Turns out, it even became worse than before.

Just as he was about to move on and be happy at last, whoops! I came back into the picture. I pressed him to get back with me, otherwise I'd leave. Poor Kendall…he really was falling for Lucy, but his compulsive, clingy ex-girlfriend that's me forced him to forget about her.

I totally understand his decision. He couldn't afford to break my heart for the second time. The only reason why he went to my door and picked me over Lucy was because he had no choice.

Not because he "still loved" me, as I'd really wanted to believe.

I guess he did love me back then…but he loved Lucy as well. Maybe even more than me.

I can tell that he's still thinking about her. That's probably why he called me "Lucy" in the first place. From time to time, I can hear him hum "Cover Girl"-a song he and Lucy had sung together- and he stares outside the window obviously hoping she'd magically appear. Whenever I noticed him doing those things I tried to kick my pessimistic thoughts away. I always told myself that he was thinking about something else…not her.

But I can't pretend anymore.

I can't keep on believing that he still loves me when he'd done everything to be with her, and she's still on his mind after all this time.

It's high time I grew up.

It's high time I thought maturely and let him move on.

First loves never last forever. It's not a fairytale, and I'm not the princess who will get married to the first guy she's with.

He loved me enough to let me leave for New Zealand to pursue my acting career.

Now, I have to return the favor.

I wipe away the tears that have started leaking from my eyes and stand up. After a deep intake of breath, I grab my phone and text him.

"_We need to talk. It's really important"_. Minutes later, a reply arrives: _"Ok, I'll be there soon"_.

When he finally shows up at my doorstep, we sit on the couch without saying a single word. However, I can understand that he is expecting me to yell at him like the many times I've done it in the past. I swallow hard. This is going to be really difficult for me.

"Kendall, there's something I've been thinking about for quite a while" I tell him, holding his hand.

"Tell me" he replies, no emotion in his words. I take a deep breath, trying to fight back the tears threatening to fall.

"You know" I begin "ever since we reconciled, our relationship has been facing many problems. I think I know the reason"

"And that would be…" he wonders.

"You're still thinking about Lucy" I cut him off, trying to get this over with as soon as possible.

"Wait, what?" he asks. "I'm not thinking about her!" he adds, awkwardness obvious in his tone.

"If you're not, then why did you call me Lucy? Why do you keep singing your song? And why did you become so upset and worried about her album's release? Admit it, you still love her!" I state, not giving him a single second to say anything.

"…Fine!" he replies with a pause. "If you want me to admit it just so you feel any better, then that's fine by me!"

"No, no, it's not that Kendall!" I say, my voice cracking. "It's just...I believe you shouldn't be with me anymore"

"So, you're dumping me because of Lucy once more. What a surprise!" he groans, and stands up. Sensing the mixture of irony and anger in his voice, I firmly grip his hand, making him sit back down.

"Listen to me" I tell him. "I didn't mean it that way. All I want to say is…I can see that you're miserable because of our relationship issues. But I believe that the main reason for this is that, during this year I spent in New Zealand, you and I have changed. We're different people now. You were happy with Lucy, and I just had to come back and ruin everything. I guess I should have let you move on in the first place"

His expression starts to soften. "Wow, I have to admit, I surely wasn't expecting this from you, Jo" he tells me.

"It's too late to say that, I know…and I am super sorry about that. But I had to let it out, because in the end, it would kill us. Kendall, I love you. I love you more than anything, and I want what's best for you. I want a constant smile on your face; your beautiful eyes shining with joy; your laugh to echo throughout the rooms of the Palm Woods. And I'm pretty sure you're not going to find those things with me"

I can hear him gasp when he hears me say I love him. Placing a hand on my knee, he stares up at me, gulping. "Jo, I truly care for you, and it saddens me that we're ending this after such a short time. But I can totally understand you. I wasn't the best boyfriend either. It just feels different for me now. I hope we stay friends though" he tells me.

My heart breaks into a million little pieces at the sound of those words. Being friends with a person you have strong feelings for isn't exactly the easiest task.

"So, friends it is?" Kendall's question snaps me out of my trance. I look down to see that he had extended his hand for me. After a handshake, both of us stand up.

"I guess I'll meet you at the pool" he says.

"Yes, see you there in a couple of hours!" I reply, and he walks out of my apartment. Well, he didn't admit he loved Lucy, but hopefully he will.

Right now, there's one thing I'm sure of; I may have broken up with the guy I love the most, but I know it's the best solution for both of us. He's bound to make a good couple with her.

In the end, that's what I want most for him. His happiness.

**Here you go…review!**

**~Ana**


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